my self-exile from home is coming to an end, and i don't know how to feel about it. june 20th will mark my third year in portland, and the beginning of my last season here--and i wonder if all i have to show for my time here is my bookcase, which is now five times fuller than it was the day i graduated high school.
lately i've been uncharacteristically sentimental--just yesterday, in the middle of taking a stranger's order, i started crying and couldn't stop. i can't get a grip on my thoughts, or how i feel about leaving, or how i feel about my future, which is hardly more certain than it was at the beginning of the year. where am i going, and how will i get there?
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