10.23.2010
i would like..
to pull out my minolta and shoot some snazzy color photographs outside. but it's dark and rainy, and i didn't make enough in tips last night to cover the cost of film. perhaps i can try again tomorrow, but lately i've been waking up with just enough energy to shift my pillow before falling back asleep.
10.22.2010
mid-autumn update.
i would love to say that the reason i haven't posted anything for the last month and a half is because i've been too busy enjoying my favorite season of the year to get online long enough to write.
alas, that has not been the case.
college has been kicking my ass. this term has been the heaviest course load i've had in the entire history of julie, and it's completely my fault. i'm so anxious to get done with school, to get my bachelor's so i could enter the peace corps, and then come back and get a master's and then maybe continue and get a phd. but you know what's so ridiculous? i don't even know what i want to do. i have such foggy career goals--all i know is what i DON'T want, which is a great start but not enough.
i don't want to work in an office, i don't want to sell things or otherwise promote consumerism, i don't want to work for a corporation (even a lovely one, like TOMS), i don't want to own a small business, i don't want to work in the medical field, i don't want to censor my opinions to better reflect those of my employer's, i don't want to ever use a powerpoint or wear a suit. okay, the suit is negotiable. but the rest, that's all i have going for me in terms of direction. which isn't very much, unfortunately.
so anyway, i've been having some deep conversations (well, deeper than most of the ones i've had since i moved back) about my life, and classes, etc., and here's what i think i'm going to do.
i'm going to work my ass off and learn as much as i can from all 19 credits worth of classes i signed up for this term. i need as many A's as i can get so my GPA doesn't drop too much, but i'll be okay with a few B's, as long as that's the lowest i'll go. i know grades shouldn't matter so much, but the scholarships i hope to receive to pay for my university transfer & grad school will be closer to impossible if i get any more C's. so this term is going to continue to suck, and i'll have to live with more sleep-deprivation and a close-to-flatline social life. but next term, and for the terms that follow, i'll try to keep my classes closer to 12 credits, and take it three classes at a time until i get where i need to go.
i mean, what's the point of hurrying? the economy is shit, and if i get my bachelor's in two years like most of my high school classmates, i'll just enter the flood of unemployed college graduates and still be broke, and still be directionless. so whatever, i'm not in a hurry anymore. i think i need to do this right the first time, figure out who i am and who i want to be, and graduate when i graduate.
this is fucking terrifying, so cross your fingers for me.
xoxo, j.
alas, that has not been the case.
college has been kicking my ass. this term has been the heaviest course load i've had in the entire history of julie, and it's completely my fault. i'm so anxious to get done with school, to get my bachelor's so i could enter the peace corps, and then come back and get a master's and then maybe continue and get a phd. but you know what's so ridiculous? i don't even know what i want to do. i have such foggy career goals--all i know is what i DON'T want, which is a great start but not enough.
i don't want to work in an office, i don't want to sell things or otherwise promote consumerism, i don't want to work for a corporation (even a lovely one, like TOMS), i don't want to own a small business, i don't want to work in the medical field, i don't want to censor my opinions to better reflect those of my employer's, i don't want to ever use a powerpoint or wear a suit. okay, the suit is negotiable. but the rest, that's all i have going for me in terms of direction. which isn't very much, unfortunately.
so anyway, i've been having some deep conversations (well, deeper than most of the ones i've had since i moved back) about my life, and classes, etc., and here's what i think i'm going to do.
i'm going to work my ass off and learn as much as i can from all 19 credits worth of classes i signed up for this term. i need as many A's as i can get so my GPA doesn't drop too much, but i'll be okay with a few B's, as long as that's the lowest i'll go. i know grades shouldn't matter so much, but the scholarships i hope to receive to pay for my university transfer & grad school will be closer to impossible if i get any more C's. so this term is going to continue to suck, and i'll have to live with more sleep-deprivation and a close-to-flatline social life. but next term, and for the terms that follow, i'll try to keep my classes closer to 12 credits, and take it three classes at a time until i get where i need to go.
i mean, what's the point of hurrying? the economy is shit, and if i get my bachelor's in two years like most of my high school classmates, i'll just enter the flood of unemployed college graduates and still be broke, and still be directionless. so whatever, i'm not in a hurry anymore. i think i need to do this right the first time, figure out who i am and who i want to be, and graduate when i graduate.
this is fucking terrifying, so cross your fingers for me.
xoxo, j.
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