if i were to convey my current state of mind with a photograph, i would use this one from last summer--the first (and perhaps only?) time my vegan cookie dough bonded just right, and left the oven epitomizing perfection.
this week has been so bizarre, i don't even know where to begin. in the course of five days, my entire world has shifted, and i don't recognize myself or my thoughts or my (incredibly positive, incredibly driven) attitude. i'm so alive.
i was anticipating writing a list tonight, breaking down the individual dominos that fell to change the landscape of my outlook (oh lord, such an unoriginal image, but i'll leave it unedited for now so i can get back to the book i'm reading)--but. i can't do it. for one, i'm terrified that if i jump straight into my habitual "self-reflection"--oftentimes, just neurotic over-analyzation of my everyday experiences--then i will snap the magic. and second (or is it "for two"? does anyone ever say that, in the name of parallelism?), i don't know if i am even capable of gaining perspective on what just happened. i am simply flabbergasted.
let me put it this way: if i feel the way i'm feeling right now when i'm lying in my deathbed, then i will die with no regrets. in this moment, i own myself completely.
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